Mitochondria and Bunnies

Hey all,

  I’m going to be disappearing for an indeterminate length of time, except to post artwork on Mitochondriart (god knows I’m not going to give myself another excuse not to draw; I’m already too good at coming up with those). Events in the past few days have made me realize that the nervousness, exhaustion, lack of motivation, and general malaise I’ve been feeling basically since grad school, but especially in the past year, and even more specifically in the past few months, has escalated to a point that I really can no longer consider normal. I’ve always been very positive, cheerful, and had excellent healthy coping skills, so it’s been hard for me to admit that there could be a problem, but I’m starting to think I might have a legitimate anxiety issue. Not like an “I’m afraid to go outside ever and think I’m going to die all the time ” anxiety issue, but definitely an “I am plagued with enough daily fear and self-doubt that it can affect my ability to regularly perform normal tasks” anxiety issue. I’m fine a lot of the time, but I also spend a lot of time obsessing over all the “mistakes” that got me to this point and worrying whether I have any value and being afraid that I’ll never amount to anything— enough that even though I’m home all day, I basically never get done the full list of what I want/need to do each day. My asthma came back after being controlled enough that I didn’t need any medication for years, I’m having all sorts of strange joint pain issues and indigestion that won’t go away no matter what I eat or what medication I take, and I guess those can be signs of a prolonged period of high anxiety, as well, so…

Compounding this is the fact that I’m basically out of money; I expected my savings to last longer, but I’m about $2,000 further down than I estimated I would be thanks to vet bills (the rabbit health issues are also definitely not helping. I feel like I’m going to throw up constantly because there’s constantly something else wrong.) I’m looking for jobs, but my lack of experience in a field that isn’t teaching is definitely making it hard. I’m not willing to take a teaching job just for the money, however, since (a) that would be unfair to the kids to have a teacher who was there only to pay her bills, and (b) I’ve already determined that teaching is basically the reason I feel the way I do, so, that’s pretty much a big no. I’m not in financial trouble, exactly, since I have no outstanding debt and Dan has offered to pay for everything if it comes to that, but the idea of losing my self-sufficiency and becoming completely financially reliant on others terrifies me. I know Dan wouldn’t hold it over my head or want anything “out of me” for it, but for me the guilt alone of accepting someone’s full monetary support is too much.

Now, I realize all this looks pretty terrible, but honestly I’m pretty much okay? It doesn’t take much to make me happy, and I’m taking good enough care of myself that I’m not going to like… get sick over any of it. I’m sleeping 7-8 hours a night and drinking fluids and… well I’m eating, although not as healthily as I probably should. I’m also seeing my PCP in about two weeks, and I’ll talk to her about all of this then. But it is definitely an emotional and mental drain, and my energy level is way lower than it should be, and I find that I’m using tumblr/the internet in general as a bit of a crutch; when I’m feeling bad I open up the dashboard or a gaming site or something and scroll until I feel less bad, and then it’s an hour later and I haven’t done the things I’ve needed or wanted to do. So, until I have things here a little better under control, I’m going to be AWOL. If you want to contact me for whatever reason (be it urgent or you just miss my delightful and witty charm and want to say hi), feel free to either follow me on Mitochondriart.tumblr.com and/or send me an ask and I can give you my AIM handle.

Anyway, don’t worry too much about me— this is about me recognizing and issue and taking the appropriate steps to fix it, not about a serious crisis or a “cry for help” or a withdrawal from the world. I will return eventually, and in the meantime I will try to post pretty pictures to remind you I am alive and still think you’re all pretty swell fellows.

~Hannah, taking a leave of absence

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Literally every time I see mayonnaise my esophagus shudders

Mayonnaise

eeeuuuuugh

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10 Trans Actors Who Could Have Played Jared Leto's Role in 'Dallas Buyers Club'

girlinfourcolors:

This is violence against our community.

It is social violence, for it reinforces, nay, makes explicit the idea that “trans women are men.” If it does NOT say this, then why are there not more cis women being played by cis men in cinema?

It is economic violence as well, for it takes jobs THAT ARE OURS and gives them instead to cis men.

These are just ten CELEBRATED women who could have played that role, who could have had a shot at OSCAR gold tonight. And he took that from them.

(Source: lisaquestions)

via buttastic / 1 month ago / 16,099 notes / argh,
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faitherinhicks:

debaoki:

azertip:

Paul Felix

Gosh, I love Lilo & Stitch…

So gorgeous. I love a room with well-designed props.

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privileged-person:

[An assortment of Black barbie-like dolls.]

gradientlair:

Natural Girls United (@NaturalIsUnited) is a fabulous Black-owned business that produces beautiful dolls to resemble Black women and other women of colour. The hair textures, colours and styles varieties are so diverse. Also, I love that the dolls have full lips, round noses and are a variety of complexions. These dolls are too cute and are for sale. The price range appears to be  $45.00-$140.00, and the work is custom. Custom orders are also available.

As the founder, owner and designing artist Karyn Bird notes in her bio:

If a child is constantly looking at images, dolls, television, books and magazines - and only seeing beauty as something or someone with non-ethnic features and long, straight hair - then they are going to assume that this is what beauty is. It is something that has hurt our young people for centuries. But each day we learn that it is important to show them and teach them that their beauty is beautiful. 

The only thing that I would want added are dolls with size variety instead of the usual thin frame. But with everything else, these dolls are on the right track.

I want Black kids to have dolls with variety; and I say “kids” since I am not about gender restrictions on toys. In the past I wrote something gender-specific (Black Girls and Dolls; Black Women and Pinterest) since even if all genders of Black children play with dolls like these (which would be great), the connection to beauty perception and beauty politics most heavily falls on Black girls. Thus, how that beauty is interpreted and how much it subverts hegemonic and Eurocentric beauty norms matters. 

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realashleyskyy:

#PartyTimeExcellent

realashleyskyy:

#PartyTimeExcellent

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angrywocunited:

To those of you who think representation isn’t important, Lupita Nyong’o inspired a young black girl to not bleach her skin.

I repeat, Lupita Nyong’o inspired a young black girl to not bleach her skin.

Lupita received a letter from a young black girl that said she was about to buy Dencia’s Whitenicious cream to lighten her skin when Lupita appeared  and saved her.

So, stop telling POC they should get over it when they’re being misrepresented. 

Representation DOES matter. Seeing Lupita onscreen can save and bring hope to the lives of many young black girls. 

via burritosong / 1 month ago / 15,724 notes /
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fuuturetense:

itriedthatonceitwasabadmove:

wizardstan:

thirstywhiplash:

andrewcentrism:

nikkidoughnuts:

88floors:

The Cube desktop 3D home printer by 3D Systems

Putting this on the Xmas list!

MASS MARKETED 3D PRINTING IS HAPPENING.

I REPEAT, MASS MARKETED 3D PRINTING IS HAPPENING.

 

DO NOT PRINT A DILDO!

Even the best 3D printers have tiny gaps for bacteria at least, and can cause tiny cuts at worst.

Print a dildo mould and fill it with latex.

Unless you’re printing tiny dildos to put in a bag so when someone is a jerk you can throw tiny dicks at them and tell them to “go eat a dick”.  Then by all means, print tiny dicks.

Wizardstan dropping some knowledge

OMG

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I gave Humphrey a shot of penicillin* as per the vet’s orders about an hour ago, and I’m literally rooted to this spot staring at him hoping he won’t suddenly drop dead because despite the fact that I did this with Otis every three days for like 5 weeks a year or so ago, I still can’t help but assume I somehow failed at giving it to him subcutaneously and instead punctured an organ or hit a vein or something. Like, I’m not squeamish— I don’t want to have to puncture my beloved animal’s tiny soft skin, but I can psyche myself up do basically anything if it is ultimately helpful— but there’s just so much that could go wrong when you’re dealing with sharp instruments and a very small creature…

*(If you have a rabbit and your vet ever prescribes oral penicillin, RUN. Rabbits are highly allergic to penicillin when ingested and will die. However, most rabbits respond surprisingly well to penicillin injected subcutaneously, which is good if they’ve had recurring infections, since a lot of strains of bacteria than cause infections in rabbits are starting to become resistant to Baytril and Bactrim, which are the oral antibiotics rabbits best tolerate.)

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A PSA TO THOSE WHO WERE AT KATSUCON

nightmareloki:

neuralhandshake:

randomnessatitsfinestt:

"A heads up to everyone who is or has has been feeling sick after Katsucon, it has been confirmed that one of the flu strains that has made people sick is the H1N1 virus. If you’re feeling sick or have flu symptoms, PLEASE get to a doctor to prevent further spread of the virus. As a word of advise, if you’re feeling sick or running a fever, you should not be exposing an entire convention to your illness. Stay in bed, drink plenty of fluids and get some rest. No con is worth exposing thousands of people to a virus."

A member of staff just passed away due to this virus after contracting it at con.

Wanted to give a heads up to my followers—I’m absolutely appalled that someone would bring H1N1 to a convention. If you’re sick, stay at home or stay in your room or something—cons are NOT amazingly essential parts of your life to the point where it’s necessary to not miss one at all costs.

Oh shit

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