Everyone should base their marriage on Utena.
Every morning we wake up and get out of our bedroom via an elevator where we are impelled to speak only in metaphor. Then we leave our home through the magical water door we can only open with our matching rings. We both work at a school for emotionally manipulative teens, and we fill our days with sword fights set to nigh-incomprehensible lyrics. When we have sex, it is generally only implied, unless it is coerced. Occasionally our siblings are invited. On vacation we drive around shirtless, with neither of us actually driving the car. Every night for dinner we eat body-switching curry and afterwards play with our tiny purple simians. Our lifestyle isn’t for everyone, but we wouldn’t trade it for anything.


